Joey and I are beyond excited to share that we have a little Valentine of our own coming August 2017! We have been seriously so anxious to tell you about our little baby announcement! It’s been so hard to keep this a secret!!
We are officially 13 weeks pregnant!! I would be lying to you if I told you that I don’t pinch myself every day thinking, “is this real? Is there really a baby in there?” I just can’t believe it!
It’s been a very difficult road to get to the point of, “Let’s do this!” If I’m being completely honest, I didn’t really care too much for children. At a really young age, I said I didn’t want to have babies. Joey has always known this about me, even before we were married, and even though he has always wanted to have children. Regardless, he was always so supportive of me on this major life decision, and always had my back no matter what conclusion the conversation would lead to.
We’ve been discussing having a baby for years now. We’ve been married almost 7 at this point. I never felt ready. I never felt like it was the right time. I had so much doubt in my mind… How can I be a mom when sometimes I don’t even feel like I have my own life together? Will I be a good mom? What if we have trouble? All of these doubts (and many more) constantly went through my head. Especially the last two years. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t have the “to have a child or not to have a child” debate. On top of all of that, I couldn’t help but feel guilty because there is so much pressure for a woman to have a baby in society, and the thing about it is, there shouldn’t be. Just because you chose not to have a baby doesn’t make you a selfish person. It’s a very personal choice between you, your significant other, and God.
After all of the years of debate, there was one pivotal moment that occurred. We were vacationing in Spain where we met two older women who were on the trip together. They sat with us at our group dinner, and the oldest of the two asked Joey and me if we had children. Our response was “no, not yet.” The woman became very sad and said that was the one regret in life that she had. She didn’t have children. She continued to tell us that she and her husband (who was her best friend), did everything together; they traveled the world, went to dinners, etc. Unfortunately, he had passed away earlier that year and she was left with nobody. She didn’t have anything left of him. As I looked at Joey, my eyes filled will tears as I was trying to keep it together for dinner, but my heart was breaking for this woman.
THAT was the moment that I knew I didn’t want to regret not having children. I’m still not ready and I’m still not sure that I’m going to be a good mom, and I certainly don’t have it all together most days. Quite frankly, I’m scared. What I do know is that Joey and I are on this life journey together. We are a team!
So, we decided to take a chance. Although it may not have happened on the first try, we are so blessed beyond measure that God has given us this gift and we know His timing is always perfect. The last seven years of our marriage have been amazing, but we are looking forward to this next chapter in our lives!