A Huge Valentine’s Day Surprise <3 <3!!

 

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 Dress c/o One Enchanted Evening // Flowers c/o Venus Et Fleur // Make Up by Tricia @ Fluhme Glam Bar // Ultrasound at Hey Baby!  // Booties Janie and Jack

Joey and I are beyond excited to share that we have a little Valentine of our own coming August 2017!  We have been seriously so anxious to tell you about our little baby announcement! It’s been so hard to keep this a secret!!

We are officially 13 weeks pregnant!!  I would be lying to you if I told you that I don’t pinch myself every day thinking, “is this real? Is there really a baby in there?”  I just can’t believe it!

It’s been a very difficult road to get to the point of, “Let’s do this!”  If I’m being completely honest, I didn’t really care too much for children.  At a really young age, I said I didn’t want to have babies.  Joey has always known this about me, even before we were married, and even though he has always wanted to have children.  Regardless, he was always so supportive of me on this major life decision, and always had my back no matter what conclusion the conversation would lead to.

We’ve been discussing having a baby for years now.  We’ve been married almost 7 at this point.  I never felt ready.  I never felt like it was the right time.  I had so much doubt in my mind… How can I be a mom when sometimes I don’t even feel like I have my own life together?  Will I be a good mom? What if we have trouble?  All of these doubts (and many more) constantly went through my head.  Especially the last two years.  There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t have the “to have a child or not to have a child” debate.  On top of all of that,  I couldn’t help but feel guilty because there is so much pressure for a woman to have a baby in society, and the thing about it is, there shouldn’t be.  Just because you chose not to have a baby doesn’t make you a selfish person.  It’s a very personal choice between you, your significant other, and God.

After all of the years of debate, there was one pivotal moment that occurred.   We were vacationing in Spain where we met two older women who were on the trip together.  They sat with us at our group dinner, and the oldest of the two asked Joey and me if we had children.  Our response was “no, not yet.”  The woman became very sad and said that was the one regret in life that she had.  She didn’t have children.  She continued to tell us that she and her husband (who was her best friend), did everything together; they traveled the world, went to dinners, etc. Unfortunately, he had passed away earlier that year and she was left with nobody.  She didn’t have anything left of him.  As I looked at Joey, my eyes filled will tears as I was trying to keep it together for dinner, but my heart was breaking for this woman.

THAT was the moment that I knew I didn’t want to regret not having children.  I’m still not ready and I’m still not sure that I’m going to be a good mom, and I certainly don’t have it all together most days.  Quite frankly, I’m scared.  What I do know is that Joey and I are on this life journey together.  We are a team!

So, we decided to take a chance.  Although it may not have happened on the first try, we are so blessed beyond measure that God has given us this gift and we know His timing is always perfect.  The last seven years of our marriage have been amazing, but we are looking forward to this next chapter in our lives!

 Thank you One Enchanted Evening for Partnering on this post.
Photography by Merritt Lee 
  • Lauren

    Beautiful photos, Ashley. Congratulations, this is such exciting news. I’m sure you will be a wonderful mother!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you so much, Lauren! <3 I hope you have a great weekend!

  • Goodness this is so exciting- congratulations!! I know from my girlfriends who’ve had kids that you can never really be “ready”, but you’re right- God gives us what we need at the right time. I have no doubt you will be a wonderful mom!! What an exciting new chapter for y’all!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Awwww thank you so much, Gentry!! You are so sweet.. and I honestly, that’s what I’m learning. I’m not sure that anyone is really every “Ready!”

  • Tina Interval Delaney

    Congratulations Ashley! You will be an awesome mom!! So happy for you both!!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you, Tina! <3 <3

  • Alisha hughes

    I am so excited for the two of you! This is such a beautiful story and much of it is shared by many. Even after the kids come….lol By the way, your photos are wonderful. I’m sure they will be treasured!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Awww Thank you, Alisha! it’s so nice to hear from you! I hope you, Joe, and kids are doing well! I was really nervous about writing this post, but honestly, I am so glad that I did! I’ve received a lot of support and even just… “I’m there with you’s” just made me feel “normal”

  • C Jane Wilson

    Congratulations darling ❤ thank you for your honesty. I’m still uncertain myself.

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you, beautiful! I think after all the feedback from this post, a lot of people actually feel this way… and it’s Okay! There is definitely nothing wrong with it. I am convinced, though, that nobody is “ready”… One day you’ll have your moment of Yes, this is what I want .. or No, it’s not. Either way you end up, just know that it’s okay and not to worry what other people think.

  • Summer Wilkins Moore

    Very heartfelt message. Just to let you in on a little secret you will always doubt yourself about being a good mother. Always keep open communication with your partner and it’s a smooth ride. Best wishes to both of you. You will do great!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you, Summer! This was such good advice and I’ll be sure to take it 🙂

  • Morgan

    Oh WOW!! I am SO excited for you and Joey!!! I was hoping this day would come soon! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!! 🙂 XOXO

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Hahah Thank you so much, Morgan! <3 Have a great weekend!

  • Tina Orr Hutzler

    This is very beautiful. Thanks for making me cry. I know exactly how you feel. I love you guys and I am truly excited for you both. Ashley, you are a beautiful wonderful person.. Inside and out. Joey is a terrific guy. You two will be absolutely GREAT PARENTS!! Can’t wait to see you guys and to meet the little one come August. God bless you both!!! I love you!!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you, Tina. This means so much to me! Love you!

  • 204park

    Congratulations! Such an exciting time – I wish you all the best! <3

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you!! It’s exciting and nerve racking all at the same time, but all in a good way! <3

  • Congratulations Ashley and Joey!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you, Tori!

  • Congrats Ashley! Thats so exciting.. and these pics are too cute! What a great valentines day present 🙂

    Brittany 🙂
    http://www.kingdomofsequins.com

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you, Brittany! <3

  • Amy

    Thank you for being so open and honest and so REAL about your decision. It’s heartening to know that I’m not alone in always questioning “should we or shouldn’t we.” It’s nice to have another public voice changing the dialogue about women HAVING to have children to be accepted. It’s not always that easy and I applaud you!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Hi Amy! I’m so happy you could relate to this post. I was so nervous writing it because I wasn’t sure how people would respond. My advice to you would be (and I just learned this from all the feedback I’ve gotten) nobody is really ever “ready”. You will have that moment where you will know if (and when) is the right time for you. No matter what the decision ends up being, you have to do what’s best for you and your situation and just not worry what other people think. Best of luck in your journey! I am by no means an expert in any of this, but if I can ever be of any help, please do not hesitate to reach out! <3

  • What a beautiful story. Congratulations! Amazing pictures 🙂

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Hi Emelia, As always, thank you so much for reading <3

  • Andrea Darst

    Congratulations!!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you! <3

  • Garuba Khadijah Abiola

    Congratulations !
    You look so pretty!
    http://dimplekhadi.blogspot.com/

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you! <3 Have a great weekend!

  • Lisa Mele

    Hi Ashley!! Haven’t seen you and Joey for awhile but heard the news and dad told me about the blog! Congrats, so happy for you and guys. PS. this was a GREAT blog article 🙂

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Hi Lisa! It’s so good to hear from you! I actually hadn’t realize how long it’s truly been! I hope you, Chris, and now kid(s) are doing well! Thank YOU!! I might have to reach out to you for mommy advice 😉 <3

  • SUCH an exciting announcement! Congratulations!!

    xx Kelly
    Sparkles and Shoes

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you, Kelly!

  • Jamie

    That’s awesome!! Congratulations. I can’t think of one person who ever regretted having the baby <3 it's hard becoming a parent but the rewards are beyond measure!

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Jamie, those are really good points! I’m so looking forward to saying those words so much excitement and emotions right now! <3 Have a great weekend!!

  • gina blades

    Congratulations! Thanks for sharing your honest story.

    • Ashley Pletcher

      Thank you, Gina! I felt really compelled to be honest in this post. I don’t get really personal most of the times on my blog, but this was something I just felt like I HAD to write about. Hope you have a lovely weekend! <3

  • Michelle Conley

    Ashley, somehow I am just now reading this post. It is beautifully written from your heart – honest and raw. Not easy to do on the sensitive topic of having children. Of course you are concerned! There isn’t a woman out there who could HONESTLY say, “All set, bring it on!” No. You are worried about everything from diapering to discipline. Can I love this baby the way I should? How will I know what he/she needs? But guess what? This is what what the good ones do! They worry! They are concerned with doing what it best for their child. And this , my dear, already makes YOU a GREAT MOTHER! You got this. I promise. XOXO